Read for the Record Day - October 7, 2010

This year's Read for the Record Day is set for October 7, 2010. On this day, you can read The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats online for free at WeGiveBooks.org. You can create your own profile on the site, and pick from several literacy-minded campaigns to donate your books to. For every book you read online, the organization will donate a book for free to the campaign. The goal is to promote early literacy in children, and to get more books into the hands of children. You can pick from campaigns supporting Haiti, local libraries, East Africa, Asia, Volunteer USA, Jumpstart (the recipients of the donations through the Read for the Record Day), and many more.

Please visit the website for specifics on how this works. Please support childhood literacy. Read to a child.

I love reading. As a child, I would read anything I could get my hands on. I demanded my Mom put the cereal box in front of me each morning so I could read it as I ate. I would read the same box every time I ate cereal, until the box was empty. I even read the ingredients list and nutrition facts! I attribute this to my mother passing her love to read on to me by reading to me often. As I began to read myself, she would let me read to her. As a toddler, she read Three Little Kittens by Paul Galdone to me 
 so many times I could "read" it to her. I had heard the story so many times, I could recite it to her from memory.

Now, as a mother, I read to my children. My youngest had a small library before he was born. Our friends and family bought him books for us to read to him. I buy a new book almost every time I step into a store. Of course, right now he listens for about thirty seconds, and then wants down to play. But I still read the book, and show him the pictures. One day, maybe he'll thank me.

Read to a child today! It WILL make a difference in their lives.

This week in our life: Big Milestone!!

So, we had the 4-month checkup Tuesday. (I worked all weekend, night shift, so was in a great mood Tuesday afternoon after about 4 hours of sleep or less). Stats from the checkup:

25" long
41 cm around the head
and 16 WHOLE POUNDS and not a bit more or less on his weight!

Michael is at or over the 50th percentile on all three growth indicators. The doctor is satisfied he is properly reaching all his development milestones. He got 1 oral vaccine, and three in his legs. At which point we almost cried with him. Keep in mind, Mommy was helping to hold him.... Daddy was standing in the corner, and ended up with his eyes shut and his back turned to us by the last shot. He hates being there for him to get his shots. And my goodness, he screamed and cried ten times worse this time than the last. I had to nurse him after for several minutes to get him calmed back down.

And for the big one..... CEREAL!!! Yes, he had his first bowl of rice cereal mixed with warm breastmilk Tuesday evening after we got home. AND HE LOVED IT!!! He takes after my side of the family with that. We love our cereal. :) We had a small problem yesterday morning with his cereal. The spoon hurt his gums every time we gave him a bite, so we had to put the cereal into a bottle. (Yes, our spoons are padded. They even turn white if the food is too warm for baby's mouth.) At least, I think it's his gums. Has to be, judging by his response every time we gave him a bite. He was fine every bite, until the spoon touched his bottom gums. I don't know if his gums being that sore means his teeth are withing days or a week or so of coming through the surface or not. I do know that until then he had no problem with the spoon. He had cereal a few times before then, always with a spoon, and never had any problem with him gums.

Hey Momma, do you remember how old I was when I cut my first tooth? I have my baby book, but I've been too lazy to dig it out to see when I hit all the major milestones. (I know it doesn't mean my child will hit them the same time I did. I was just curious, and I think it would be fun to anticipate and see how close he comes.)

Oh, and did I mention he can't have any other kinds of solid food (carrrots, peas, etc.) until he hits the 6-month mark? This is due to the possibility of allergy development if we start earlier than that. Oh, and I'm going to try my hand at making baby food at home. I feel better making my own. There's a baby food recall out right now, in fact, for Plum Organics Apple & Carrot baby food in Portable Pouches due to the possibility of BOTULISM. No thank you. At least if I cook and freeze our baby food, then I know where it's been, how it was cooked, and what's in it. The only reason he's getting Gerber store-bought rice cereal is because I don't know how to make that. If I did, I'd be making it, also.

OK, I'm off my soapbox now about store-bought baby food.

EDIT TO ADD: I took tons of pics of the first cereal feeding. I'll be putting a lot of pics on Shutterfly ASAP. No promises when. I work Friday through Sunday day shift this weekend, then Tuesday night through Thursday night, so......

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back......

I'm back! After almost 4 months of no blogging, I am back. I promised my sister I'd come back to blogging, so here I am.

So, tonight is my first night shift since coming back to work. And it's off to a really shitty start. My child is at home with Daddy. And how's it going for the two of them, you ask?

HE.WON'T.SLEEP.BECAUSE.I'M.NOT.THERE.SO.HE.CAN'T.NURSE.
RIGHT.NOW.TO.FALL.ASLEEP.....

Great. So now, of course, I feel like the crappiest Mommy on the face of the Earth. Yeah, it's sweet, he can't sleep at night without Mommy. But he's at home right now, fighting sleep and inadvertently irritating Michael because HE WON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT MOMMY!

On top of this, I get chewed out for being in the bathroom pumping when they needed me to go out and do a few minutes of work. "Where have you been the last hour? I needed you go to untag RCIC. I had to send Chip to do your work because we couldn't find you...."

Great, make a Mommy who's about to cry over her baby refusing to sleep feel even worse, why don't ya? Sorry my milk is trying to dry up, and it took me an hour to get it to let down to my pump, and then I only got just under 3 ounces, even though I haven't pumped or nursed since before 6:00, which was over 3 hours before I started trying to pump.... Two weeks ago I could get 4 ounces or more in less than that time. I spent my whole 7-off nursing my son every time he acted hungry, trying to up my supply. I wouldn't let him fall asleep nursing until he had emptied both breasts each time. You'd think it would increase my milk. But no. It's no better than it was at the end of last week, after working four days.

The really sucky thing is, My friend KW just had her baby September 1. She can nurse her son and THEN pump 8 ounces, which she is freezing for when she goes back to work. How is that fair??? He's ten days old. He can only eat two or three ounces at a time. There's no way she needs to be making that much milk. And her mother keeps mentioning it to me, which is just great. Talk about making me feel like a failure because my boobs won't do as I command. But no, no empathy for me. Just on and on about how productive KW's mammary glands are, while I sit here trying not to cry sometimes over the thought that I'm slowly losing my milk and I'm going to eventually give up on trying to breastfeed, waaaaay before either of us are ready. It's not like I have gallons frozen or anything. I've been lucky to make enough at work for a couple of bottles the next day. And the stress from missing my baby when I'm at work, trying to work, not making enough milk, and feeling guilty for not pulling my weight around the house are NOT helping my milk supply any.

Bless Michael's heart. He doesn't say anything about me not pulling my weight around the house. Every once in a while, if I'm off work, he'll ask me to do a load of laundry for us. Or to cook us something quick and easy. That's about all he every asks. I'm still doing the grocery shopping and menu planning and all that. Aaron usually cooks dinner, even when I'm off work. I've never had to worry about taking out our garbage or cutting grass. I think he knows I'm tired and stressed. He tries to do almost every bit of it so I don't have to. Bless him.

So, to recap: Work sucks. My child refuses to sleep tonight without Mommy. Michael is irritated at the lack of the baby sleeping. My milk is drying up. Today is September 11,2009, which is the eighth anniversary of the 9-11 attacks, and also the second anniversary of Toney dying.

I'm thinking of taking a daytime-only position, if they'll give me one. I'll lose most or all of my overtime, and I'll be working Monday through Friday every week, so there'll be less days off. But maybe it'll be worth it to be home every night. I don't know. I'm so tired right now. Tired of worrying about my milk, and pissing people off at work over my pumping taking up so much time, and worrying about helping clean the house, and.... Everything.

God, I wish I didn't have to work. Especially tonight. What I wouldn't give right now to be a stay-at-home mom. I guess I should be thankful I even have a job, much less one that pays so well. I just can't help but be so sad over everything I'm missing.....

If my milk supply would cooperate, and my boobs would let down better for my pump, it would be a tremendous help.


I am literally sitting here at work, with tears streaming down my face over all this. Maybe something will resolve itself soon.

I'm going to the bathroom now to wash my face and try to pull myself together before they need me to do something, which will require facing co-workers with red puffy eyes and a tear-stained face. If anyone made it through my rambling, emotional post, then bless you.

Also, another post with baby updates will be posted sometime later, depending on how busy we are the rest of the night. We're bringing a unit down tonight for some repairs, so we may be slammed pretty badly.

P.S. to Mom - Please know I'm thinking about you today. I'm sorry I didn't call to check on you. If it makes you feel better, Robbie wrote me on your birthday and I haven't sat down to write him back yet, either. I don't know yet what to say to him. Not much has changed. There's only a couple things new to tell him. And he can only have 5 pics at a time, so I don't know what they did with the rest of the 18 that I sent him last month, but he said for me to not send anymore right now, so....

But please know I am thinking of you.

My feelings as the weeks close in on us

Aaaaannndddd, I just sent my bosses an email confirming when I will take my light duty and maternity leave. It feels weird to send that message. Makes the countdown seem that more.... I don't know.... Looming? Pressing? Those aren't quite the words I'm looking for, but they give just about the right connotation, except they aren't joyful enough at the same time as being inevitable. Imminent, maybe? I don't know.

I'm sure you all get where I'm going with this. I'm overjoyed, thrilled, eager, impatient that the time is drawing so near, yet I'm also anxious, doubtful, unsure, afraid. I'm sure anyone who has been in my shoes knows exactly how I feel. Overjoyed at the new life to love, thrilled to be given this blessing, eager to meet our child, impatient for him to be born. Anxious about my ability to care for him correctly, doubtful over my knowledge of children, unsure how to react, afraid we'll make the wrong choices. I mean, I can change a diaper, or feed him, bathe him. I'm not afraid I'll drop him or break him somehow. I've been around newborns before, and helped care for them. But this is different, this one is mine. We have to care for him at home with no help around the clock. I'm sure we'll manage just fine. It's just been so long since I've helped bathe a newborn, or......

I'm sure every new parent has these feelings. I'm sure we'll be just fine. We'll do what parents have done since the beginning of time. We'll figure it out. And if we run across something we can't figure out, we have family and friends who are parents, and we have the internet, if all else fails. After all, it's too late to turn back now. :) Even if we wanted to. (Of course, we wouldn't dream of it.)

These feelings are just new to me. I didn't have them last time. Of course, I didn't have to worry about bathing her that first week, or what to do if she starts crying and won't stop no matter what I do. So of course I didn't have them last time. I didn't have to worry about it. This time is a whole new ball game. Right now, I feel like I'm riding in the first car of the world's tallest, wildest roller coaster. We're paused at the top, a moment to catch our breath and collect our thoughts. Soon we'll be on our way down, and up, and around the track, travelling faster than we ever imagined!



Time to take a deep breath, hold hands, close our eyes, and just sit back and relax! I'm sure we're in for the most intense, most thrilling, most satisfying ride of our lives! I wouldn't trade it for anything, and it hasn't even really begun yet!

Wanna ride with us? Stick around! I'm sure all the ups and down will be posted right here!

Controversy on my blog????

It seems I had a little controversy on my blog over a recent post, which included my statement that I let my husband have the final decision over circumcising our unborn child after delivery. Here's my reply to the controversy:



For YOUR MOTHER, who says I'm too lazy to do the research:

WE did the research TOGETHER. WE read everything we could find on the internet, books, magazines, medical journals, etc. Obviously, and for good reason, we gave more credence to what doctors had to say over anyone else. IF YOU would take the time to READ my post, you would have read that I have left some decisions up to him entirely, OR have given him a 50/50 say in decisions. I never said we didn't research this decision before making it. You assumed we didn't give any thought to this other than, "Daddy is, so Junior shall be".

Your mother, as far as my mothering skills are concerned, you can kiss my big pregnant behind from here to eternity and back if you don't like what goes on in my house. If you don't like it, don't come here and bother to read it and then leave useless comments on my blog about them. If you do comment, at least leave something useful, other than just calling me a bad,lazy mother. I'll be sure to give you the same courtesy. Maybe next you can comment on my massive to-do list, and how it must mean that my house looks like a landfill and is unfit for adults to live in, much less children. How about going to child services and showing them my list in the hopes that my house will be deemed a health hazard,and therefore should be condemned.

You could learn something from the fact that a father (my husband) is willing to do hours of research on a topic before just saying "yes" or "no". Maybe yours didn't care and let you make all the decisions during your pregnancy and the care of your children. Maybe you're mad because you wish you had done some little thing differently now that you look back. Whatever the reason, I don't think name calling is going to get you anywhere with me.

A more effective method to go about trying to change my mind would have been the one obbermi used in her comment, offering more research material in case I hadn't already seen it.

Now, in regards to everyone:

Thank you, obbermi and K, for having more class than "your mother" had when she came here berating me and calling me names.

And just so everyone knows, the discussion regarding my blog at mothering.com was removed, without my asking or knowledge, due to copyright infringement of my blog. I did not know my blog was being discussed at such length, and sadly did not get to read any of the discussion before it got deleted by the site admin. Pity. Some of it might have been informational, instead of mindless dribble calling me lazy and pointing out how bad of a mother I am. I'll never know now. I was going to post this there, but since it's gone, I thought it better to post here than start controversy over on that site with a new thread.

I realize this is a public blog that anyone can read. I realize I have left comments unmoderated on my blog the interest of free speech and everyone being able to express their opinion. I would hate to have to moderate comments or restrict viewing to invited people only, therefore I probably won't. I like reading other people's blogs if I find a post there on a subject that interests me. I like being able to respond to comments when I read them. Sometimes this could create a wonderful debate on a subject. However, there is no need to call people names and judge them.

Information is always welcome here. Some of it I have seen, some of it I may not have found. Those who just come here, call names, judge others, and generally just make a pest of themselves need to find better things to do.

Momma and Sis, love you for having my back while someone tried to stab me while I wasn't looking. Thanks.

Obbermi and K, have a nice day. Thank you for encouraging research, providing links to research, and for the congratulations you sent me. I pray you are blessed today for being such nice people.

Your mother, just plain go the heck away if you don't like what I say on MY blog. Or at the least, offer more information rather than just name-calling and random berating of me for how my husband and myself chose to raise our children. You can look forward to calling me a terrible mother again on my next post, which will be about how I am leaving 75% of the decision on when to have our next child up to my husband, since he will be a stay-at-home dad.

Chris's football update

So far, 0-2 on the season. We lost to the Athens 2 (they have several teams, so many kids in this age range signed up for an Athens team). But my baby made a tackle, and his mom said you could hear me cheering halfway down the field, above everyone else's cheers.

I had to work Saturday, but I am told they lost that game, too.

But I have confidence in our kids on the team. And even if they lose every game this season, as long as they had a good time, that's all that matters.

Some parents irk my last tater. They act like it isn't good enough for their kid to try to do their best on the field, be it baseball, basketball, whatever they do. As long as Chris does his best, I don't care if he never wins a single game, as long as he had fun doing it. He's 10 years old. It's not like full scholarships to college are riding on how he does this week on the football or baseball field. And he's still so young, he's only just now learning how to play these sports. He will improve with time, and if he doesn't, at the end of the day all that matters is that he tried his best and he was happy doing it.