Jan 17, 2012

Going Dark January 18, 2012 to protest SOPA

I am setting my blog to go dark to show my support in the anti-SOPA and anti-PIPA movement.

I will also be contacting my legislative representatives to have my opinion heard regarding these issues.

My blog will be back up Thursday, January 19,2012.

I'm sure both my readers (Hi Mommy! Hi Sissy!) will live without my un-updated blog until then.

Should anyone happen to stumble upon my blog and wonder how I did this easily, see this site ---> http://torbit.com/blog/2012/01/15/stop-sopa-js/.

They have a javascript plugin that you just copy and paste. They even provide simple instructions for its use. It is set to automatically activate and deactivate, so it will only appear on your blog for one day.

Some websites to refer to:
Sites Going Dark to Protest SOPA/PIPA
SOPAStrike.com
Why SOPA is Dangerous (Opinion Piece)
A Different List of Companies and Sites Going Black
Another Site Explaining Why So Many Are Going Dark
Just Because Obama Says He Won't Support SOPA Does NOT Mean it Won't Go Forward in Legislature - and PIPA Will, Too.
Yet Another List of Those Going Dark

I have included so many different lists of companies and sites who have said they are going dark simply because each one is a little different, in terms of the sites listed. It is important to remember Google, Facebook, Twitter, and several others have said they will not go completely dark, or will only run some type of banner or graphic on their pages displaying their support of the anti-SOPA/PIPA movement (referred to by some as Occupy SOPA).


One more thing. I am doing a simple copy-and-paste of this post to put on my other blog, which has the same readers as this one (Hi, again, Mommy and Sissy!).

It's not much, but if every blogger opposed to these bills would do this, the impact would be heard across the nation. If you DO NOT want SOPA and PIPA to pass through legislature, please consider tweeting with the hashtag #SOPA, making all your sites (blogs, webpages, etc) dark for 24 hours, and letting your Congressmen and Senators know you will not support this bill, and they will lose your vote if they support it.

If we don't all take a stand together on this, we will only gain more government censorship. That is never a good thing.

Aug 31, 2011

New post on my other blog

Hey, y'all. I've posted a new entry on my other blog, . You're all invited to run over and check it out.

I've decided to focus my efforts on that blog as I get myself back into the habit of blogging. My personal life caused quite a turmoil for a while, which made even finding time to blog near impossible.

Hopefully before too long I can begin to update this blog, at least on a semi-regular basis.

And yes, I know my link above is crappy. I forgot how to make it all purrtiful, and I'm blogging from my phone. It's also after 2AM, so waaay past my bedtime. All that combines to equal I'm too lazy to figure out how to make it purrty right now. But I promise to do so before I post my next link. Even if I have to get my lovely seester to tell me how. (Hi, Belle. Love ya sissy!)

Anyway, come on over to my other home if you'd like. The door's open, just come on in.

Sep 17, 2010

Read for the Record Day - October 7, 2010


This year's Read for the Record Day is set for October 7, 2010. On this day, you can read The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats online for free at WeGiveBooks.org. You can create your own profile on the site, and pick from several literacy-minded campaigns to donate your books to. For every book you read online, the organization will donate a book for free to the campaign. The goal is to promote early literacy in children, and to get more books into the hands of children. You can pick from campaigns supporting Haiti, local libraries, East Africa, Asia, Volunteer USA, Jumpstart (the recipients of the donations through the Read for the Record Day), and many more.

Please visit the website for specifics on how this works. Please support childhood literacy. Read to a child.

I love reading. As a child, I would read anything I could get my hands on. I demanded my Mom put the cereal box in front of me each morning so I could read it as I ate. I would read the same box every time I ate cereal, until the box was empty. I even read the ingredients list and nutrition facts! I attribute this to my mother passing her love to read on to me by reading to me often. As I began to read myself, she would let me read to her. As a toddler, she read Three Little Kittens by Paul Galdone to me 
 so many times I could "read" it to her. I had heard the story so many times, I could recite it to her from memory.

Now, as a mother, I read to my children. My youngest had a small library before he was born. Our friends and family bought him books for us to read to him. I buy a new book almost every time I step into a store. Of course, right now he listens for about thirty seconds, and then wants down to play. But I still read the book, and show him the pictures. One day, maybe he'll thank me.

Read to a child today! It WILL make a difference in their lives.

Aug 16, 2010

Jul 15, 2010

A Scrapbooking Class Giveaway that I wanna win!

Andrea over at Mommy Snacks has a cool scrapbooking giveaway on her blog. It's a chance to win one of two free online scrapbooking classes from Jessica of The Mom Creative. Check out Andrea's post on Mommy Snacks here.

Jun 26, 2010

Comment Moderation has been activated

I hate to do it, but I don't really blog anymore, and it's really annoying to visit my blogs to delete spam comments. All comments are now moderated. Hopefully in the future I can change it back to unmoderated. Probably when I start blogging again. One day, right??? :)

Apr 28, 2010

Lactation legislation included in the Healthcare Reform Bill

Before I begin my post, let me preface it with this disclaimer:
I care not if you breastfeed or chose formula for your child. Your child, your boobs, your decision. I made mine, and you are entitled to yours.

I care not your political beliefs, and I don't want to hear them. This is not a blog about politics. I am entitled to my own political beliefs (and also to keep them private if I so wish). You are entitled the same consideration. So is everyone else reading this.

I do not care if you like our Presidents, Congressmen, or Senators. I don't like some of them either. They were elected. Now deal with it until the next election. If you don't like a bill they are considering, write them. If you are against one political party and in favor of another, volunteer during the next campaign season.

I am posting this simply to enlighten lactating mothers of their rights, as included in the recently passed "Healthcare Reform Bill". I don't care if you supported passage of this bill or not. I don't care if you are a Tea-partyer or not. I don't care about your political, ethical, or moral beliefs in the least. We are all entitled to our own. I DO, however, care about MY rights, and as an extension, YOUR rights.

Any inappropriate comments left here, or elsewhere on my blog, will be removed. If you've linked to this post, please feel free to leave me a note saying so. Any comment along the lines of "Stupid Senate, Stupid Congress, Stupid Healthcare Reform," etc. will be deleted. So will comments arguing breast vs. bottle, Republican vs. Democrat, etc.

I just found out about this tiny little feature of the recently passed, much-debated Healthcare Reform Bill recently passed. I don't care whether you were for or against this piece of legislation. I couldn't care less if you like it or not. I just wanna get these fact out there so that those who need them have them. If this interests you or someone you know, please link to this. I didn't know about it. I'm sure there are other women out there who are lactating, working mothers who really could use this information.

The below passage comes from HR 3590 (AKA the Healthcare Reform Bill passed by the U.S. Senate on December 24, 2009 and the U.S. House of Representatives on March 21, 2010. President Obama signed this act into law on March 23, 2010. This is now Federal Public Law 111-148.) Section 4207. I have copied and pasted it from here.


SEC. 4207. REASONABLE BREAK TIME FOR NURSING MOTHERS. Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938


(29 U.S.C. 207) is amended by adding at the end the following: ‘‘(r)(1) An employer shall provide— ‘‘(A) a reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year after the child’s birth each time such employee has need to express the milk; and ‘‘(B) a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express breast milk. ‘‘(2) An employer shall not be required to compensate an employee receiving reasonable break time under paragraph (1) for any work time spent for such purpose. ‘‘(3) An employer that employs less than 50 employees shall not be subject to the requirements of this subsection, if such requirements would impose an undue hardship by causing the employer significant difficulty or expense when considered in relation to the size, financial resources, nature, or structure of the employer’s business.
 ‘‘(4) Nothing in this subsection shall preempt a State law that provides greater protections to employees than the protections provided for under this subsection.’’.

This is great news for lactating women. You are now guaranteed under Federal law (as long as your employer has at least 50 employees) unpaid breaks and a private room for expressing breastmilk. You no longer have to pump in a dirty bathroom. Your lactation room must now be free from view AND intrusion from coworkers and the public. This means you are entitled to a door that locks, to maintain your privacy and dignity while expressing breastmilk.

This is a step up in recognizing the importance of breastfeeding our children. This is a step up in recognizing a mother's right to breastfeed even after returning to work. This is Federal Law recognizing our children's right to be comforted by breastmilk even after the first two or six or eight weeks of life. This is Federal Law recognizing that I chose to breastfeed my son until he is ready to wean, and I have the right to expect to not lose my milk supply after I return to work.

Please pass this news on. Feel free to pass on the link to this blog. Let's get the word out that a new Federal law is giving this to those mothers who choose to breastfeed their children.

Also, please know that I am posting this exact same entry on my other blog, also.

Jan 7, 2010

Prayers, please, for little Noah and his family

I believe I've posted about this family before. Little Noah was shaken by a daycare worker in April 2009. The trial against the woman who did this begins soon. Please check out the blog Noah's parents set up.

http://www.noahsroad.com/?p=285

I have three requests for anyone reading this. 1.) Let them know we all care about their precious son. 2.) Pass the word on about Noah's journey and this prayer request. 3.) Then join me during the week of the trial, and every day, in praying for this family, especially this beautiful child.

Thank you all.

Nov 29, 2009

A new blog

I have started a new blog. This new one is anonymous. Names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty (including myself).

However, I screwed up from the beginning.


I linked that blog to this one (as in, I created them under the same profile). As a result, while this blog will stay here, will stay listed in the Blogger directory, and will be recognizable by search engines, it will no longer be listed on my Blogger profile. Also, my name on my profile has been changed, which resulted in my name on all blogs being changed. Kinda would defeat the whole purpose of picking out names for all of us if you can still click on my profile and arrive here, where I unfortunately didn't have the foresight to leave us all completely anonymous.

It was kinda on-purpose, so I would have one dashboard and one Google account to handle all my blogs and stuff. I just thought I would have more flexability when it came to having them be associated with one another on the 'net. Ya know what I mean?

Long story short, This blog is staying right here. I'm still gonna neglect to post here, just like always. It's just a little more incognito over here now. And in the future, general homemaking/working mom/food/recipe/menu stuff will be there, not here. Our daily life stuff that interests mainly only family will be here. New teeth, rants, raves, gripes, etc... I still plan on this being the place to air all our dirty laundry for the world (and by our, I mean my whole family, not just those who reside with me on a daily basis). And some of it could end up over there, just with a less personal touch, and with more regard to what is/isn't professional.

For those who read Mrs. Newlywed's blog before she went underground for a short while, think of it as being like her blog, with less emphasis on fashion and travel, and more on raising kids while working, etc. Completely anonymous. Hopefully funny and much-read.

Meanwhile, check out Rubber Duckies and Rice Cereal. I hear it's a really cool blog (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). At least, I hear tell it WILL be, after it gets going. Not all of the sidebar content has been created yet, and there WILL be ads after I add them. I'm doing an experiment, to see if I can get it off the ground and make a little money off of it. (Money to go to savings for additions to our house, college fund for kids, vaca money in the future, etc. Not to pay bills. Just so no one worries that we're starving or losing our house or getting our electricity shut off or something. No happening as of now. Pray to God we're never in that situation again. I mean money's tight, but just to the point of careful budgeting and not buying a lot of unnecessary crap and all that.)

My family is obligated to check it out, visit often, and promote it/blog roll it, etc. And please, pick up on the names I've created for all of us (Angst and Belle will remain in use, since they're already so popular), and use them often when speaking of my new blog. Leave it anonymous. As in, don't tell the world that it's me (your daughter/sister/etc.) behing the keyboard over there. Since Rubber Duckie is intended to (hopefully) have more exposure to the public my Crazy blog, I'd like for us to not fall victim to identity theft, stalkers, and the like. Feel free to leave Crazy in any existing blogrolls. Just don't publicly link the two. Thanks in advance for your forced participation in this. (And no, I don't feel bad in stealing Angst and Belle's nicknames. We know where the names originated. I'm stealing them to combat confusion amongst us.)

Oh, and if anyone would like a shout-out on my blog (ya know, writers and such that I may know - you know who you are) I can do it anonymously, without telling everyone that we're related. Just let me know.

Oh, one more thing - I created a gmail account (rubberduckiesmom - AT - gmail - DOT - com) for the new blog, so it wouldn't be tied to my personal email. Those who know my personal email are invited to use either account. I now have to log into iGoogle with my gmail, so I'll be just as likely to see your email there as I would if it were sent to my normal personal email account.

I haven't worked out all the details of how I will juggle keeping one blog so anonymous while not being so protective on the other. I think I'm going to eventually go through (soon) and change all the names on my Crazy blog, just so I won't be paranoid.

Nov 12, 2009

For Seester... with love <3

I saw this today, on V's blog, Not Even A T-shirt. It reminded me of you. You may not feel this way today, or even tomorrow. (For all I know you do... point is, I'm not sure how you stand on the issue yet, but anyway.....) One day, you WILL feel this way about a certain current situation. And you will know exactly what I meant when I posted this.

This one's for you, Sis. I love you.



One day, you'll be ready. And you will. And you'll (eventually) feel stronger for going through this and not letting it consume you in the end. One day. Just keep this in mind until then, knowing that one day you'll decide to take this route. And you won't care about this forever. One day, this will all be a distant memory, and you'll have something better, and then, on that day, this won't matter so much anymore. I promise. One day, you'll just wake up and be over it, and you won't ever look back. One day.

I love you.  :)

Nov 11, 2009

Update on Granddaddy's status

This isn't really much of an update. I just wanted to say that we went to visit him last night. It was a rush to get there. I got home at 7pm, fed Mikey his cereal, and strapped him in his carseat. We were at the hospital at 7:40. Mikey was  VERY upset with us when we got there. He cried all the way to the hospital. He knew it was almost bed time, and he couldn't fathom any reason for us to be going anywhere right before bed time. He was fine once we got there.

It was a surprise to Granddaddy. He didn't know we were coming. I think seeing his great-grandson really made his day. He talked to him a little while. I was disappointed because I had meant to take my camera to get pics of him with Mikey, just in case..... I thought my camera was in the car, but Michael couldn't find it. :( 

I didn't get much information out of him regarding hid diagnosis or test results. He has three kidney stones, two in one kidney and one in the other. He has an enlarged prostate, which has a "spot" on it, but not sure if it's cancer or not. He has a "spot" on his spine, again, not sure if it's cancer. He has an ulcer on his foot from the last time he fell. The bruise got so bad it's now ulcered. He hurts from his lower abdomen down through his legs. He can barely walk across his hospital room and back (with help).

He has had x-rays, scans, a bone scan, I don't know what all.... They want him to go to the nursing home for in-patient physical therapy for a few weeks. Last night he told me he was going to the one on West Hobbs Street, but today Michael told me he was going to the one across from the hospital. I hope not. I guess we'll see.

Then he told me that they had made new wills a few years ago. Not sure what they say. I told him I didn't care what they said. My exact words were,

"I've had 26 really good years with the two of you. I'd love 26 more, but if either of you are going to have to suffer for me to get them, then I'd rather just keep the memories I have and let that be enough. I'd rather you not suffer any more than you have to. I don't care about the house or money or car or any of that. Just the memories I have. That's what's really going to last, anyway."

Then he almost made me cry. He said what I had been hoping I wouldn't hear from him.

He said, "I'm just ready to go home to the Lord. I'm ready to be with my Momma and Daddy and son."

And Michael and I realized that he was crying. And it ripped our hearts out. That's the first time Michael has seen him cry. It's only the third time I've seen it. Once when Granny Kyle died, once when Daddy died, and once last night. I think he's dying. I think last night he was telling us goodbye, just in case......

I'm not ready for any of them to leave me. I just had my son. I want him to remember them when he gets older. I want him to have more than pictures and stories from us. I want him to have his own memories of these four great people, these people I love so much. I remember Granny Kyle a little. I used to go visit her with Granny when I was little. When she lived on Hine Street, in that little-bitty house. Before she went to the nursing home. I wish I had known then what I know now. Back then I was just bored while we visited. Now I could sit and listen to her talk for hours, telling stories about her growing up and how it was back in the good old days of her youth. I want that for my children. It just doesn't look like I'll get my wish.

Truthfully, I wish they could stick around for another 26 years for my son. Without pain, and illness, and everything else they're going through.

It seems like every time something good happens to me the last few years, someone dies. We got married, Memaw died. We had mikey, and now I really do believe Granddaddy is going to die. Very soon. Why can't something good happen to me without someone dying? Just once?

Now I'll be satisfied if I get to have all four of them for my son's first Christmas. I hope they all make it until then.

Meanwhile, I still haven't talked to Belle, and she (as of last night) still hasn't been to see Granddaddy. Too wrapped up in herself, I guess.

Nov 9, 2009

And now, for my 90th post, I bring you bad news....

I called Michael from work today after lunch. Guess what he told me.... Come on, just guess....

Granddaddy is in the hospital and has been since an ambulance picked him up Saturday. Granny said they think he might have prostate cancer, along with whatever else they find when they get all the test results back. Great.

The best part? My sister DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME!!! Mike told Michael today.

I could have visited him yesterday, while I was off work. Instead, I get to leave work at 7pm tonight, go home, get my husband and son, drive to the hospital, get there around bedtime, visit for 10 or 20 minutes, then drive home. Then we all get to go to bed late (mostly my child, who likes his 8pm bedtime and will protest VERY LOUDLY if he is late about getting to bed).

Thanks heaps, Sissy.

I love you, no matter what. I just wish you had told me.

Oct 23, 2009

This week in our life: Big Milestone!!

So, we had the 4-month checkup Tuesday. (I worked all weekend, night shift, so was in a great mood Tuesday afternoon after about 4 hours of sleep or less). Stats from the checkup:

25" long
41 cm around the head
and 16 WHOLE POUNDS and not a bit more or less on his weight!

Michael is at or over the 50th percentile on all three growth indicators. The doctor is satisfied he is properly reaching all his development milestones. He got 1 oral vaccine, and three in his legs. At which point we almost cried with him. Keep in mind, Mommy was helping to hold him.... Daddy was standing in the corner, and ended up with his eyes shut and his back turned to us by the last shot. He hates being there for him to get his shots. And my goodness, he screamed and cried ten times worse this time than the last. I had to nurse him after for several minutes to get him calmed back down.

And for the big one..... CEREAL!!! Yes, he had his first bowl of rice cereal mixed with warm breastmilk Tuesday evening after we got home. AND HE LOVED IT!!! He takes after my side of the family with that. We love our cereal. :) We had a small problem yesterday morning with his cereal. The spoon hurt his gums every time we gave him a bite, so we had to put the cereal into a bottle. (Yes, our spoons are padded. They even turn white if the food is too warm for baby's mouth.) At least, I think it's his gums. Has to be, judging by his response every time we gave him a bite. He was fine every bite, until the spoon touched his bottom gums. I don't know if his gums being that sore means his teeth are withing days or a week or so of coming through the surface or not. I do know that until then he had no problem with the spoon. He had cereal a few times before then, always with a spoon, and never had any problem with him gums.

Hey Momma, do you remember how old I was when I cut my first tooth? I have my baby book, but I've been too lazy to dig it out to see when I hit all the major milestones. (I know it doesn't mean my child will hit them the same time I did. I was just curious, and I think it would be fun to anticipate and see how close he comes.)

Oh, and did I mention he can't have any other kinds of solid food (carrrots, peas, etc.) until he hits the 6-month mark? This is due to the possibility of allergy development if we start earlier than that. Oh, and I'm going to try my hand at making baby food at home. I feel better making my own. There's a baby food recall out right now, in fact, for Plum Organics Apple & Carrot baby food in Portable Pouches due to the possibility of BOTULISM. No thank you. At least if I cook and freeze our baby food, then I know where it's been, how it was cooked, and what's in it. The only reason he's getting Gerber store-bought rice cereal is because I don't know how to make that. If I did, I'd be making it, also.

OK, I'm off my soapbox now about store-bought baby food.

EDIT TO ADD: I took tons of pics of the first cereal feeding. I'll be putting a lot of pics on Shutterfly ASAP. No promises when. I work Friday through Sunday day shift this weekend, then Tuesday night through Thursday night, so......

Oct 1, 2009

Totally awesome....

I was reading all the 500+ posts on my Google reader (been a week or two, ya know) and found this:


Flash mob at Oprah - courtesy of V at Not Even A T-shirt

Apparently, when the Black Eyed Peas did the Oprah show last month, the entire crowd did the Flash dance to "I Gotta Feelin'". How awesome is that?

So visit her blog and check out the video she posted. I'm too lazy to do it myself.

Besides, I'm posting single-handedly (literally) with the babe attached to my boob. You're welcome very much for that bit o' info. (Sissy tells me quite often that I tend to over-share when it comes to bodily functions and other tidbits of TMI.)

Oh, and a baby-update post forthcoming sometime in the future. Short version: still teething, rolling from belly to back every once in a while, rolling from back to belly (on the bed, if you're laying beside him to create a dip in the mattress), and can sit if supported.

Also, we somehow kept Chris' flu from spreading to any of us.

Sep 18, 2009

PSA: A movie you don't wanna watch (for Momma & Sissy)

Shawshank Redemption.

Normally, I LOVE Stephen King movies, no matter which it is.

But as I watched this with Michael the other evening, all I could think of the whole time was Buddy.

I almost cried during parts of this movie. And almost cried afterward, while trying to fall asleep.

So don't watch it. Or anything like it.

Sep 14, 2009

O...M...G... (it's the flu!)

Cue lame '70s horror flick music.

Chris spent all weekend at our house, per the usual. Yesterday, as I'm getting ready to go to work, Cindy and Eric come over to cook dinner for Michael and take Chris home. She kissed him on the head and he felt like he was burning up with fever. We checked, and it was 100.2. The we checked the baby, who felt fine 30 minutes before but was by then feeling warm, and he had a fever. Then we checked Aaron, who mentioned he didn't feel well. Guess what? He had a fever.

So I called work and told them I wouldn't be coming last night. We ate and they took Chris home. He went to the doctor today. Type A influenza. Great. Oh, goody. So I called work and they told me to stay home and not risk getting all my co-workers sick. So I'm on family sick leave tonight, too.

We have to take our little man to the pedatrician tomorrow afternoon. If he gets a high fever, we'll go to the ER. Aaron has an appointment at 3:00. He's on his way there now.

I've already told Momma about the outbreak at my house. She was just here yesterday, but left bfore we discovered everyone was sick. Chris spent Friday afternoon at a friend's house, so we called them to let them know. The friend's mom is pregnant, so I felt she really needed to know to be on the lookout for symptoms.

Much joy here. Everyone stay away for the next week.

I don't feel so well, either. No fever so far. Just feel blah. Not sure if I'm projecting the kids being sick on myself, or maybe it's just me coming off night shift. Hopefully I'm not sick, too.

Now for a bit of sunshine peeking through the flu fog: my milk supply is a little better. I'm still seriously considering fenugreek, though. We'll see.

Sep 11, 2009

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back......

I'm back! After almost 4 months of no blogging, I am back. I promised my sister I'd come back to blogging, so here I am.

So, tonight is my first night shift since coming back to work. And it's off to a really shitty start. My child is at home with Daddy. And how's it going for the two of them, you ask?

HE.WON'T.SLEEP.BECAUSE.I'M.NOT.THERE.SO.HE.CAN'T.NURSE.
RIGHT.NOW.TO.FALL.ASLEEP.....


Great. So now, of course, I feel like the crappiest Mommy on the face of the Earth. Yeah, it's sweet, he can't sleep at night without Mommy. But he's at home right now, fighting sleep and inadvertently irritating Michael because HE WON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT MOMMY!

On top of this, I get chewed out for being in the bathroom pumping when they needed me to go out and do a few minutes of work. "Where have you been the last hour? I needed you go to untag RCIC. I had to send Chip to do your work because we couldn't find you...."

Great, make a Mommy who's about to cry over her baby refusing to sleep feel even worse, why don't ya? Sorry my milk is trying to dry up, and it took me an hour to get it to let down to my pump, and then I only got just under 3 ounces, even though I haven't pumped or nursed since before 6:00, which was over 3 hours before I started trying to pump.... Two weeks ago I could get 4 ounces or more in less than that time. I spent my whole 7-off nursing my son every time he acted hungry, trying to up my supply. I wouldn't let him fall asleep nursing until he had emptied both breasts each time. You'd think it would increase my milk. But no. It's no better than it was at the end of last week, after working four days.

The really sucky thing is, My friend KW just had her baby September 1. She can nurse her son and THEN pump 8 ounces, which she is freezing for when she goes back to work. How is that fair??? He's ten days old. He can only eat two or three ounces at a time. There's no way she needs to be making that much milk. And her mother keeps mentioning it to me, which is just great. Talk about making me feel like a failure because my boobs won't do as I command. But no, no empathy for me. Just on and on about how productive KW's mammary glands are, while I sit here trying not to cry sometimes over the thought that I'm slowly losing my milk and I'm going to eventually give up on trying to breastfeed, waaaaay before either of us are ready. It's not like I have gallons frozen or anything. I've been lucky to make enough at work for a couple of bottles the next day. And the stress from missing my baby when I'm at work, trying to work, not making enough milk, and feeling guilty for not pulling my weight around the house are NOT helping my milk supply any.

Bless Michael's heart. He doesn't say anything about me not pulling my weight around the house. Every once in a while, if I'm off work, he'll ask me to do a load of laundry for us. Or to cook us something quick and easy. That's about all he every asks. I'm still doing the grocery shopping and menu planning and all that. Aaron usually cooks dinner, even when I'm off work. I've never had to worry about taking out our garbage or cutting grass. I think he knows I'm tired and stressed. He tries to do almost every bit of it so I don't have to. Bless him.

So, to recap: Work sucks. My child refuses to sleep tonight without Mommy. Michael is irritated at the lack of the baby sleeping. My milk is drying up. Today is September 11,2009, which is the eighth anniversary of the 9-11 attacks, and also the second anniversary of Toney dying.

I'm thinking of taking a daytime-only position, if they'll give me one. I'll lose most or all of my overtime, and I'll be working Monday through Friday every week, so there'll be less days off. But maybe it'll be worth it to be home every night. I don't know. I'm so tired right now. Tired of worrying about my milk, and pissing people off at work over my pumping taking up so much time, and worrying about helping clean the house, and.... Everything.

God, I wish I didn't have to work. Especially tonight. What I wouldn't give right now to be a stay-at-home mom. I guess I should be thankful I even have a job, much less one that pays so well. I just can't help but be so sad over everything I'm missing.....

If my milk supply would cooperate, and my boobs would let down better for my pump, it would be a tremendous help.


I am literally sitting here at work, with tears streaming down my face over all this. Maybe something will resolve itself soon.

I'm going to the bathroom now to wash my face and try to pull myself together before they need me to do something, which will require facing co-workers with red puffy eyes and a tear-stained face. If anyone made it through my rambling, emotional post, then bless you.

Also, another post with baby updates will be posted sometime later, depending on how busy we are the rest of the night. We're bringing a unit down tonight for some repairs, so we may be slammed pretty badly.

P.S. to Mom - Please know I'm thinking about you today. I'm sorry I didn't call to check on you. If it makes you feel better, Robbie wrote me on your birthday and I haven't sat down to write him back yet, either. I don't know yet what to say to him. Not much has changed. There's only a couple things new to tell him. And he can only have 5 pics at a time, so I don't know what they did with the rest of the 18 that I sent him last month, but he said for me to not send anymore right now, so....

But please know I am thinking of you.

Jun 9, 2009

Update from today's doctor's visit

Nothing. Next Thursday we'll talk about options for induction dates if I've not delivered yet. Yay. I do have a slight backache coming and going, so there is a glimmer of hope. I didn't even have her check me for dilation today. Not worth the cramping after the internal exam to possibly hear "nothing happening". So no idea if I'm getting closer or not. I figure I'll know when contractions start. There;'s really no way to know when, even if I know I'm beginning to dilate, so why bother?

In other news, my SIL will have her c-section Friday morning at 7AM if she's not delivered by then.

I took my brother $40 today. I woke up at 3AM dreaming about him. Then, at 7:30 when my alarm woke us up for our doctor appointment, I woke up dreaming about Daddy. Little sleep was had last night. I took a 3-hour nap this evening.

I'm off to convince my husband that we need to find a place in Athens to get a big salad with everything in it (cukes, ham, bacon, maters, cheese.... everything.)

Jun 8, 2009

Are we there yet?

OK, so I stopped working a few weeks ago. The swelling in my ankles wouldn't go away. Not to worry, as soon as I stopped working it went back to normal pregnancy swelling. We've been filling our days with visiting friends and family, cleaning, and relaxing.

I'm due in 17 days. No progress as of last Thursday. We go back in tomorrow for another weekly checkup, including internal to check for dilation and effacement. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

The baby dropped a couple of weeks ago. He seems to really enjoy headbutting me in my nether regions, as well as my bladder. He has actually hurt me so bad that a few times in the last few weeks I could do nothing more than lay on the couch and cry due to the stabbing pain (AKA lightning crotch, since it feels like lightning has struck you in the crotch area, for those that aren't familiar with the term). My poor husband kept telling me one night, during a really good round of headbut-momma-in-her-no-no-spot, how sorry he was that I had to go through that particular side effect of late pregnancy. I swear, my first child NEVER did this to me. I think I would remember the lovely feeling of being stabbed repeatedly up my va-jay-jay, even nine years later.

Had some pain in my lower back all afternoon yesterday and all night last night. Just a dull, not exactly constant, ache in the lowest part of my back. Went away this morning. Had hoped it was a sign of impending (like in the next week) labor. Alas, the back pain is gone. Crap. I was so hopeful yesterday evening, when even rest (sitting, reclining, laying) didn't help.

My sister-in-law will be having her c-section Friday to deliver the twins if she hasn't had them by then. She had a lot of complications having her first child, and has already been hospitalized twice for preterm labor in this pregnancy. Due to the previous complications and the fact that she's having twins, her doctor strongly suggested a c-section whether labor starts naturally or not. She's due in less than 5 weeks, so her doctor says the babies should thrive even at this point. Please pray for her and the girls. We don't expect any problems, but you never know...

My grandfather is having surgery next Monday to correct/patch his hernia. The surgeon will go in through his belly button, patch the hernia, keep him for observation for several hours, and hopefully send him home the same day. Pray for him, please.

Part of me is jealous of my SIL. I got pregnant first, we planned and tried for our baby (her pregnancy wasn't planned to happen this early, she got pregnant before they wanted) and I'm due 10 days before her, but her babies will probably be here before ours. I do feel blessed, though, in knowing that all is expected to be perfect with her babies, no matter when they get here. In the end, the health of our family is all that really matters. As long as all three babies (her two girls and our boy) are healthy and thriving and don't need any medical intervention, I'll be happy. I've worried a lot about her and the girls. She's had a lot of problems, and has had to fight at times to keep them in and baking, as they should be. Thankfully, she has made it well past the date her doctor set as the "we-aren't-gonna-stop-it-if-you-go-into-labor-after-this-day" milestone. We all breathed a sigh of relief after hearing that. It's been pretty cool, being due so close together. We hit the same milestones at pretty much the same time. We've been able to compare belly size (for the first 6 months, until her two babies outgrew my one). We have belly pics of the two of us together. We were both obviously pregnant for my baby shower, which resulted in some really cool pics, as well as funny conversation.

Her son knows there are babies in Mommy's belly, even if he doesn't exactly understand what that means. She can ask him where his sisters are, and he does the cutest thing. He lifts her shirt to reveal her bare belly and pushes her belly button (or as she calls it, the eject button) with his finger. He'll do it to me when I ask him where my baby is. So cute! He's only 16 months old, and that smart already. He remembers where the babies are. Amazing.

My step-son broke his arm a few weeks ago, on May 23. He's fine, but most of his summer will be spent in a cast. He broke it the Saturday before school ended. Three days of school left, and my kid can't use his arm to write. Thankfully, his class had already finished all their assignments and grades were already calculated when it happened.

The last few weeks have been filled with tragedy in our community. Three deaths in less than 4 weeks.

A dear friend of ours passed away Saturday night, from pancreatic cancer. His visitation is tonight, with the funeral tomorrow. Please pray for his family, that God may guide them through this very difficult time. He had a son (18) and a daughter (around 11 or so). His nephew died just months ago, at the age of 16. The last several months have been especially hard on this family. We may or may not go to his services. The thought of a midday burial, in 90+ degree heat, while almost 38 weeks pregnant does not sound that great to me. It was bad in March when Michael's grandfather died. It sounds worse now. If we do go, we may just do the service and not the burial. If we get out of the doctor's office in time to go. My appointment is 9AM. The funeral starts at 11.

Another aquantance of ours dies late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, from a car accident. His wife was in the truck with him when they wrecked. She had to be flown to Huntsville Hospital. Their truck flipped, and both were thrown (not wearing their seatbelts). The cab of the truck landed on him, and he was pronounced at the scene of the accident. She is expected to recover. We just found out about them this afternoon. His funeral was to be at the graveside this afternoon. Due to the late notice (I stumbled on the news article on the local paper website while looking up the arrangements for the OTHER funeral) we did not attend.

My last day of work, a high school classmate of mine died in a car accident. His wife was injured, but has physically recovered. They just got married last July. At the time of the accident, they had a 6-week-old son, their first child. Truly a tragedy. Their life together had just began. Now she is a widow with an infant son who will never truly know his father. Also killed in the accident was a man who lived not far from us, a man we knew in passing. We weren't friends with any of the people involved, but my heart aches for them. Either Michael or myself knew all three people involved in the accident. This is the first member of my graduating class to be lost since we graduated in May 2001. Hopefully it is the last for a very long time.

As my time draws near to have our child, updates will probably be as sporadic as they have been the last month (meaning, one or two a month) until I get things back together. I just have absolutely no energy to do more than required of me right now. No burst of energy to nest. Nothing. I will be sure to post after delivery some time, and to post a birth story in the (hopefully near) future. More than that can not be promised.

Hopefully today's hour-long shopping experience in Wal-mart will help jump-start something. So far, nada. Hopefully, I will hear of news in the dilation/effacement area tomorrow morning. Hopefully, all the hospitilizations in my family's very near future will end very well.

May 14, 2009

For Momma: A Post on GF eating

I saw this on my Google feed, and thought I'd link it for my mom and anyone else who sticks to a GF diet. A guest blogger named Carrie posted this over on Erin's blog, 5 Dollar Dinners. It has lots of good links to other GF blogs, as well as other GF info. Check it out!